Overexposure

Claiming sensitivity means I need to be aware of what I take in, what I choose to expose myself to. I stumbled my way into reading a book about the former Czechoslovakia and its experience during WWII, written by Madeline Albright. It was a great read- a mix of her family’s history, personal stories and reflection, and a history lesson on WWII. Being somewhat of a history nerd, I really enjoyed the book. (“2nd dorkiest thing about me.”) My new party question will be, “Do you believe the former Czechoslovakia took land from Hungary following the war?”

The book reminded me so much of present politics. The overshadowing hatred for people that are different, blaming immigrants, opinions formed in fear. After finishing this book, I watched the news, twice. I saw Barack advocate for progressive laws. I’ve been having wretched dreams about people from my past, keeping me awake or leading me to wake up unsettled. The world is jam-packed with injustice, oppression, hate. Depressing, and all that combined depressed me.

Right around this time, I had an experience that led me to believe I’m not smart “enough.” Part of what Brené calls scarcity thinking, never being enough, never having enough, never doing enough. I sat with this for a few days. Then I realized this was a dumb thought process. I am smart, and my perception of myself is more important than making assumptions of how others may view me. I don’t need to shove my face reading everything related to current events, politics or the meaning of life to prove something to myself.

I’ve found a new outlet to indulge my desire for reality exposure…podcasts! And John Oliver. More on that another day.

That being said, we should probably go the The Moth show next week!

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