Before I left on my (almost) 6 week adventure, I had a reoccurring thought of “what has my life become?” It was a thought prompted after feeling scattered, forgetful, and ending up in surprising situations. A good way to reorganize my thoughts, balance my emotions, and gain perspective was to leave my day to day reality for awhile. Cue trip to Kenya and swinging by Spain.
Thinking about my time in Thigio, Kenya feels like a dream. I’m avoiding the post trip blues by soaking in Denver’s beauty, striving to keep peace and patience, and gathering the emotional energy to get through a 9 hour work day. Traveling is a jolted reminder of new perspectives, emotions, gratitude, and stretching my comfort zone.
I came home. I hugged my friends, opened the mail, was shocked how big the computer screen looks. I’m not cautious to drink the water, walking barefoot feels weird, and I no longer have a roommate to hear my confessions at night. My routine is similar as before, now with a different perspective and different emotions over certain things. My heart is full.
A song I’ve been listening to on repeat has a lyric, ‘Am I more than just the sum of every high and every low.’ It is easy to define myself by my best days in addition to the more challenging things I’ve gotten through. It feels odd to label my life by the highs and the lows, when most of my days will be spent doing the seemingly ordinary. And the ordinary can be special- with surprises that knock me off my feet, moments worthy of reflection, personal connections that make me feel warm and understood, unexpected laughter and tears that fall when needed.
While I was gone I commented to a friend I was enjoying the avoidance of my real life in Denver. Her response: “This is your real life becca! You are an amazing person who gives her time to help people, that’s who you are in Denver too.”
This isn’t a humble brag- her overall message was right. Whenever I go, there I am. That’s living. When it’s said that way- duh. It’s me, and this is my life. All of it.
My life is quite full. The world is so big. And what exactly are we doing ? What has, my life become? (Read that slowly for dramatics).
Things to chat about 